Luke Westoby

Okay, one top game available at the moment that I am dying to get my hands on is "Resident Evil" on the playstation, I haven't played it yet, but it looks soooo good, I'd kill for it, believe me, this game looks so, so, so, so good. Kick the heads in of all manner of ghoulies, blow limbs of evil spirits, and watch in emphatic disgust as a zombie lunges at you, its mouth wraps around your collar bone, blood spurts and bone cracks, and in bitter retaliation you shoot it with your hand-gun, showing no mercy as you beat it into a pulp on the floor.....interested yet? Anyway, if I can get hold of this ripper of a game, well, you'll either hear from me very soon or a month or two later.

Sorry for the momentary lapse in articles, I have been formatting my hard-drive, re-installing everything on my PC, taking those puny wastes of time the ignorant creatures called 'adults' say are "SAT'S" and "exams."

Another problem I have been finding is that there are not many new releases (compared to other months) over the past 12 or so weeks, but I am trying to get hold of the "Quake" demo, (yes, that is "Doom 4"), What game shall I review, I'll tell you what game I'll review.....


It's official, Quake" is great! It is totally revamped and is oh, oh, oh, oh, OOOOHHH so addictive. (Texture mapped 3D sprites that make all other doom-type games look like, like, well, erm, blank paper.....flat and plain.) There are not very many new demons, but boy o' boy are the rare meetings with 'Fiends' and even rarer 'Shamblers' scary, no, pantwetting! 'Fiends' look especially gruesome, actually like something out of a French meal, and the way these demons move are freaky, I mean, you can actually get high of the buzz when they chase you, (the true hedonistic imperative-a better life through 'Quake'(that was a dig, Dave)), it feels that real! (Try it through VR specs and don't expect to come out alive!)

I'll run through the monsters quick, just to make you drool some more.....

'Grunts'-some puny little goblin off of 'Warcraft 2'? I doubt it very much, these are the cannon fodder of the game, and are basically bloody army-blokes wielding shotguns.

'Rottweilers'-ooooh, I wonder, could these be blood-covered hell-hounds of death???!!!

'Ogres'-again, just very big bloody army blokes dealing death with a chainsaw and lobbing grenades.

'Knights'-waaargh, samurai.....you have a very long sword and blood-covered armour.....wow man, what a haiqu!

'Zombies'-rotting, limping blokes who rip off parts of their body to use as weapons against you, oh, and they are indestructible unless you neutralise them with a grenade or rocket.

'Scrags'-okay, these are basically snakemen with ripped off arms that fly and spit bolts of acid at you in big barrages, and they have six-packs.

'Fiends'-probably the scariest and hardest thingies in the game, especially on the hardest difficulty level where they come in large groups of two or even three if you are very unlucky, and look like something out of 'The X-Files',cause' they have no eyes, very long, spikey nostril hairs, scythe-like arms, big, scary, grinning-toothed mouths, and itty' bitty' tails that look really cute.....uh, whoah, sorry. In summary they are monkeys with no eyes, spikey horns, (coming out of their nose), and spikey taloned arms and legs that enable it to run really fast and jump a looooooong way, and kill you really quick unless you are supremely skilful.

'Shamblers'-an abominable snowman, or Yeti, with no eyes and three-fingered hands that are spikey. They are the biggest demons, except from the end-of-world bosses, and can shoot electricity at you.


  • Graphics: 97% - Top notch, bang up to date, and very tasty.
  • Sound: 90% - With SFX by 'Nine-Inch Nails', and atmospheric music, this is coool!
  • Plot: - 85% - Better than some, but it is the usual 'Doom' story, demons attacking Earth, you're the only one left to save the planet, etcetera, but it is rather cool, if you read it through.
  • Playability: - 96% - Belieeeeve me! Start playin' this baby and you will be ADDICTED!
  • Satisfaction: - 95% - Blow ogres into little pieces, leaving only their head flying through the air, satisfaction guaranteed!!!!!
  • Originality: - 82% - Okay, so it isn't that original to have a first person shoot em' up, but I have given generously because 'Doom' was the first, (apart from 'Wolfenstein').
  • Weapons: - 87% - Not the best I've ever seen, but they look meaty and great! With grenade launchers, they are the grade above the old ''Doom's''.(And the axe is SEXY!)
  • Overall: - 91% - The graphics, the sound, the satisfaction, it's all too good to be true, 'Duke Nuke'Em 3D', 'Quake', just like buses, you wait for one, then two come along at once, the latter preceding than my wildest dreams.....

    BUT, and there is a but, there is one small problem with 'Quake', and that is it is very easy, I mean, I finished the first world on its' hardest difficulty level in less than a day, but, for once, I didn't care, and I am still playin' it now, looking for all the secrets, and that is why I have given it 91%.

Luke Westoby
E-mail Luke
(at HedWeb)
In the Beginning

BLTC Research