"Sam-'l-fix-it" Eaton ranks among the creme-de-la-creme of Brighton's new digital intelligentsia; its philosophers, on the other hand, appear to be downwardly mobile, not that they have a long way to go.
Sam has never felt unduly bound by the shackles of bourgeois convention. He is a hatchling from that exotic bestiary of unearthly mutants, bizarre androids and hopeful monsters, Sussex University Cogs Department.
He has a deep capacity for warm, sympathetic and loving relationships, albeit with a preference for high-end work-stations rather than with ageing 486s. Less widely advertised is his taste for the very finest in state-of-the-art organic wetware. Sam seems to know something about virtually everything. Not even his worst enemy would accuse him of being tormented by intellectual self-doubt.
A Unix junkie and battle-scarred veteran of the savage command-line interface, he recently took up work as systems administrator for the smart new ISP, Cocoon.
He is exceptionally kind in his willingness to sacrifice time solving the technical problems of less gifted mortals. In fact HedWeb (motto: "A Family Page For a Family Audience") wouldn't be here today without his sterling service above and beyond the call of duty.
Grateful parents may wish to e- mail this finest flower of the Net digerati with some small token of their appreciation.